If you have a fat kid or two, you might want to bring them to this totally politically incorrect clothing store. Not only will your kids be laughed at as you enter the store, but they will also charge you extra for the additional fabric needed too.

For those trying to human traffick minors to some obscure destination, please pick them up at the lower baggage area after 8:30pm. Don’t worry, we will automatically assume that since their parents doesn’t care enough to keep an eye on them, they don’t want them around anyways.

I’ve heard of using Yoga training to be able to sit on pins and fire, but riding bikes over children surely beats all of that. I’m sure the Child Protection Services are delighted too.

Imagine if every place was like this, without any crazed or spoiled children screaming like monkeys. But then we’ll probably end up with a world like the movie Demolition Man.

Here’s another wonderful product to enslave your children like an animal. When a dog leash isn’t enough to keep your kid in check, just put them in one of these immobilizer boards! They are designed after the same ones used on psychotic murderers, so you know you’re getting the real deal!

The girl in the picture is trying to look cute, but instead, it looks like a scene straight out of Hannibal or something. *shiver*

In certain countries around the world, the age of marriage is much lower than the norm in North America. Specifically instances where it is from an arranged marriage. That’s why there are centers for sex education for younger kids to prevent them from being unprepared. Though in some cases, perhaps the age is a bit TOO young.

Some children make as much noise as a circus already, so they’ll fit right in. Hey, at least they get to pet all the animals they want.