Here’s the secret to the amazing economic growth of China, training all Chinese citizens to not wait in lines. By spurring a culture of cutting in line and aggressive pushing, it has created a Chinese society driven bull market.

People generally don’t like surprises, and they love their stereotypes. Here’s a 2 in 1 Chinese stereotype, with a China Buffet and a Chinese Laundromat all in the same place! Nothing like snacking on some Dim Sum while waiting for your clothes to dry.

Don’t believe for a second about sexual repression of Chinese people, they even have special rooms just for S&M.

While traveling in Asia, if you’re looking for a fun sexy time with some girls, then you have to learn how to find the discreet locations. Don’t worry too much though, some places conveniently used a random online translation site to make it understandable for the tourists.

You’re going the wong way! I bet this sign was either created by Elmer Fudd or someone Chinese.

When visiting China as a tourist, it is important to learn the local customs, including their bathroom etiquette. So remember, Mang Out after taking a dump. Or  you might just be imprisoned without trial for a couple of years.

This Engrish translation makes absolutely no sense to people who needs to read the English. Good luck typing that translated word out on your smart phone to find out what it is.

Sounds like something straight out of Starcraft 2 or something. Main palace cannons destroys the mechanical chicken invaders!

This is like a hotwheels track with missing pieces. Where the heck is that side road supposed to go? At least they had the decency to tell you it’s a FAIL though!

In their mission to produce better basketball players, Chinese scientists have produced their latest GM product, Halogen meat. It boosts muscle output by 200%, and is even capable of burning Kale in vain. Poor Kale, whoever he is.

I wonder if they’re talking about selling sex toys in a grocery store, or that their stuff is really damn good?

Another funny chinese translated sign, I’m going to try and guess what they’re saying… if you come here in a state of excitement, then STFU!

eerrrr I really hope they’re not trying to pull an American Pie here. Though it makes me wonder what kind of fruit they would use.

I’m guessing they condensed the translation into 1/5th of the original meaning once again.

If you ever wondered why Chinese athletes have been winning so many summer Olympic medals, it’s because they start their training really young. Stuffed teddy bear? Try 50kg dumbbells.

Just in case you have a fetish for eating ass.

Maybe the top one would be more accurately labeled as “Cat”.

Bonus: Check out this really funny YouTube song explaining it in more detail. Thanks @AssassinGrl

If you see this sign, you must yield to any Chinese garbage man picking junk off the streets. Official government business. Don’t mess with him because he probably knows kung fu too.

note:  This is not meant to be negatively racial in any way, (the kung fu thing is actually quite kick ass) but an honest guess at what the sign shows. Seriously what else is it supposed to be, a graduate student staring into a rabbit hole that has an arrow pointing to the opening?

An amazingly truthful Chinese restaurant was spotted in town, telling you what happens if you eat too much of it. Wait… grease and MSG isn’t good for me? Not that warning signs ever stopped people before though.

I suppose this restaurant would only be pleasing for people who likes to watch a bunch of well hung springrolls walking around. Hey if they have topless coffee shops, why not this?

The key to finding good Chinese food, is to make sure the majority of the customers are Chinese. Otherwise you might just be fed some interesting ingredients without you realizing it.

This sign is like saying, we apologize for randomly putting land mines on the public beach. Sorry for any inconvenience, and good luck.

Welcome to another edition of Chinese Fear Factor. Just like last time, we have an assortment of food items that many would not dare try. Some people stop at cuttle fish, just because they look white and slimey when uncooked. How about a deep fried sausage or a deep fried Vaginalis instead? Is that just an attempt to make the word less vulgar sounding?

While the Chinese wording clearly warns people not to run into the wooden pillar, the English translation says otherwise. Apparently this started as a prank by the local Chinese students, who told English speaking foreigners that it was tradition and good luck to ram your head against the sacred wooden pillar. Now every year, tens of thousands of visitors arrive at this small village to get their blessings.

Here’s another sign that will make you stop and stare. Is it saying to go or not? Is it a one-way pedestrian path? Argh the terror of the confusion!

Whoever wrote this sign was either a) No idea what this vegetable is actually called or b) think that adding “Bro” will attract more attention. Kind of like saying, “DUDE check out this totally bad ass bundle of greens!”

For a Chinese menu, the first two items are actually pretty well translated. The third item, not so much. But then tourists wouldn’t think it is authentic Chinese food unless there are SOME broken english in the menu somewhere. It’s part of the cultural experience.

For those who thinks their Ego isn’t big enough, just eat a few of these and you’ll become an ego-bursting office-trashing jerk in no time.