Isn’t it awesome when drunken guys pee everywhere around the toilet? It’s even better when they can’t even shit straight and it goes onto the floor. How they manage to defy gravity like that remains a big mystery to this day.

A big thanks to Darrin and Mark for this one. Not for the crap on the floor, I meant for the pic. =)

Governments around the world don’t want you to know the secrets of fish crap. But the secret is out! Fish byproduct was discovered to be high in vitamins and energizing minerals. Why do you think farmers use crap as fertilizer? Drinking regular doses of fish crap water can actually lead to better school grades and amazing swimming speeds. How do you think Michael Phelps won all those Olympic medals?

Coffee shops are supposed to look and smell good. Who’s brilliant idea was it to name it with such a crappy name? Might as well call it the Crapola Shop or The CaCa Cafe.

In a surprising turn of events, Quickie Mart employee found what looks like Policemen droppings on the floor in aisle #3. It was unclear how the employee determined the piece of crap to be from a police officer, but they have left it there as a deterrent against future shoplifting and robberies.

This is kind of  like SNL’s Jizz in my pants, but with more substance.

If only I had some of these sandwiches during a food fight.